Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

We had a great Christmas, the girls got a lot of presents and they got to see Santa. Noelle was ok with him if i held her but for some reason Cayla wasn't happy with him at all. And Noelle also had an awesome birthday. I'm still having a hard time believing that she is a year old already. And as this year is coming to an end i cant help but think about this past year. I do this every year but this one much more than the others. Even though she was born in 2011, I'm still thinking about that today  and how far she has come. When she was first born and they were cleaning her off and John yells from across the room she only has 3 toes and i though he was joking. You just don't expect to hear that in the delivery room but when the nurse brought her to me and showed me, I thought it was my fault and there must have been something i could have done. I stil have those thoughts to this day. And then on 1-12-12 we found out the name have what she has, Fibular Hemimellia, and that she may walk late. That was what i feared, that and if she will find someone to love her for who she is. But she has proved that doctor wrong and has been walking since about 10 months old. And then she started crawling earlier than Cayla, at 6 months, I had high hopes. And then she stood for the first time by herself around 8 months, my hopes got higher.And now she is walking. Im so happy.

She has red velvet cake. Yummy

Aubree, Cayla, and Noelle in front of the tree at gammy and papaw's house.

Cayla wasnt happy at all.

Yep, i had to hold her.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and has a Happy New Year.

A year filled with conqured chanllenges

A year ago next Wednesday, was when we found out that our baby girl was special and was never going to be completely normal. Its crazy how fast this past year has gone by. We were told she wouldn't walk until she was about 18 months but she has been walking since she was about 10 months old. I'm so proud of her. While we were in Arkansas, we got her sized for shoes the week after thanksgiving, not sure when we should be getting those hopefully soon though. But my mom picked her up some shoes to keep her feet warm until we get the others, and she loves them. She will walk in them, unlike the first ones we got for the insert.

And I have over come some of the guilt I had after she was born but not all of it. I think what has helped me with that is breastfeeding. Her birthday will be 12 months of exclusively breastfeeding. My first goal was her first tooth, then her second, third, and fourth. And now, 8 teeth and a week straight of soreness from her biting, we are still going strong. Although I'm starting to wean her. I'm going to miss our cuddle time though.

Here are her shoes. Size 5 and size 3

Helping my mom (nini) make cookies.

10 months old

Its crazy how fast it has gone by. It seems like only yesterday we were rushing to the hospital. I can't believe that in 2 short months she will be 1 year old. Oh, and she is almost walking. CRAZY!!!

And now the news everyone was waiting for. She got into Shriner's. The doctor said that she doesn't see any surgeries in Noelle's future, unless needed. The difference in her legs is about half an inch. Our plan is to wait until she is about 10 and see how much of a difference it is and go from there. If its not much then we will consider slowing down her left leg. Everyone is so nice there, they even made her a shoe insert so she has her first pair of shoes. And they will see her back in a year.

Cayla and Noelle enjoying the park

Her show insert

her first shoes

The day before

Well, today is the day before Noelle's evaluation. My nerves are going crazy and I'm so anxious. I just want today to be over with and us be on our way to Shriner's. I'm not looking forward to all the xrays and everything but its got to be done. I just hope she gets accepted. I'm also not looking forward to the 2-4 hours we will be spending there.

 On a happy note, she has already taken her first steps and is starting to stand by herself. She is making me so proud. She has very strong legs. She will be in the middle of the floor and stand up from sitting. She wont stand up if you  try to stand her up and she wont let go of furniture to stand on her own. She is very independent with that. I guess she she trying to prove to everyone that she is able to do it.

The 23rd was Cayla's birthday and she got one of those battery powered toy motorcycles. Both her and Noelle loved riding it. I cant believe that both my girls are growing up so fast, Cayla is now 2 years old and Noelle is about to be 10 months. Where does the time go?

The girls got matching pj's that glow in the dark.

Noelle made friends with my friends boxer.

Cayla and I.

Cayla on her Harley.

Noelle's cheese face.

Noelle on her big sister's Harley.

9 months

These 9 months have gone by so fast, I can't believe it. She is 19 lbs and 8 oz and 29 1/4 inches long. She is babbling like crazy, and trying to stand on her own. I'm still breastfeeding, even with teeth 7 and 8 coming in. She is already so picky about what she eats, she refuses puree's. Her favorite food is mac and cheese and hot dogs, just like me when i was little.

I look back on the last 9 months and think about how I wasn't as emotional as i thought i would be. But then I realized that the journey hasn't really started yet. Oh, and we heard back from Shriner's. She has her first appointment on October 2nd, but its only an evaluation. I'm excited and nervous.

On her 9 month birthday.

Love that smile.

I found this poem and I love it.

Missing Parts
God looked down, another child complete,
A smile so perfect, a temper so sweet.
But baby looked and some parts were gone,
Did God mess up and make me wrong?
God just looked at this perfect child,
He explained Himself as He just smiled.
"If I'd taken time to make that part,
you wouldn't be such a work of art."
I would not have had time to make that smile,
To list your talents would last a mile.
Your sense of humor, that belly laugh,
Where are these parts, you have to ask?
You are so lucky, these gifts of gold,
Those missing parts are mine to hold.
Forever they'll be, close to my heart,
So as you live, we are never apart.
Each time I move, you'll be on my mind,
You special child, you are quite the find!
So do not miss that part, you see,
It will always be safe and sound with me."

Good big sisters

I haven't done a post in a while. So here is an update on miss Noelle, she is crawling like a champ, trying to stand on her own, and trying to walk along the couch. And she is 8 months old, crazy how this time is going by so fast. And we're waiting to hear back from Shriner's.

She and her big sister, Cayla, just love each other. That make each other laugh, Cayla tries to calm her down when she is crying, and she even tries to share her sippy cup. Its so cute.

Here is Noelle and Cayla playing in their tunnel

One of those times she was trying to stand by herself.

Sitting on daddy's lap.

7 months and visiting Arkansas

We're visiting my family in Arkansas right now. We are having fun and Noelle has learned a lot of stuff.

She loves the walker and chasing the cat around.

We have gone swimming.

And she has started to sit up

She has also started to army crawl, she mainly uses her right leg for that. I'll have to make another post for the video of her crawling. Its crazy that she is 7 months old now. it has gone by so fast. And I'm pretty sure that she weighs as much as Cayla now.

 We cant really get out and do much because it really hot and Arkansas is in a drought. And while we're up here, Houston (where we live) is flooding because its wont stop raining.

We miss home. John called 2 days ago and both girls started yelling, they wanted to talk to daddy.

Almost 6 months...time really goes by fast

Noelle is doing great. She plays in her exersaucer all the time, she is rolling, almost sitting by herself, and as tried to crawl a few times. Its hard to believe that she is almost 6 months. Oh, and she has her first 2 teeth too. And lets just say they hurt me too (when i nurse her). She interacts with her sisters alot more now and laughs when they are just sitting there.  Sometimes I still have my moments where I just break down because its hard to think of what people will say behind her back. I had a little taste of it when it was just her and I at the store. People were starring and someone even commented to the person she was with "did you see that baby's foot?"

At the end of this month, Cayla, Noelle, my brother, and I will be going to Arkansas to see family. They haven't met her yet.

Noelle, Aubree, and Cayla

Play with Cayla

In her exersaucer

Sitting

4 months old

Noelle is now 4 months old. Crazy how time is flying by. We took her to her 4 month appointment, she is 27 inches long and 15lbs 10oz. 95th percentile in height and 55th percentile for weight. She rolls from laying on her back to her tummy now, just working on tummy to back. The difference in her legs is still about an inch, so her right leg is growing at about the same rate right now. Poor baby got shots, but thankfully she didnt have the same reaction as she did to her 2 month shots. Her 2 month shots made her leg swell to twice its normal size and I could even gently touch it with cloth. We almost went to the er because she cried inconsolably or nurse for about an hour and a half.  But she did and she slept all night that night.

Its just so crazy how time flies.

Harder days are comeing.

Since Noelle has been putting weight on her legs, all the emotions that I was told I would feel have started to show their ugly faces. When she "stands" on my lap i have noticed that 3 things happen, she either stands on the toe of her right foot or she slants her left leg out to the side or I have to raise my leg up a little. All to make up the difference.

And as I'm typing this, I'm watching Cayla jump around. That also stirs up emotions because Noelle will never be able to do that normally.

We haven't gone to Shriner's yet, but we know all the options. Its just really hard to think of them all.

I pray every night that she will be kept safe in the future and that it gets a little easier for me. And every night, as she is falling asleep, I tell her "no matter what the future holds, mommy will always love you, and no matter how many surgeries, mommy will always be there when you wake up".

Getting so big

These 3 1/2 months have gone by so fast. Every parent on the facebook page I joined said that she will amaze me everyday. And she has. She has started to put weight on her legs, mainly her right leg (which is affected by fh). It makes me so nervous because we dont know how weak or strong her ankle is and its starting to turn in. She is starting to do "sit up's", and likes to sit up on my lap (leaning against me of course). She does tummy time so well, better than her big sister. When I would try to do tummy time with Cayla, she would scream until i flipped her over.

She will be 4 months old on the 12th, I'm having such a hard time believing it.

3 months and perfect

Well its been a little over 3 months since Noelle was born and 2 months since we found out what was wrong. She is such a happy baby, all I have to do is look at her and she smiles the biggest smile. Its still hard for me to think about her future and I'm trying my hardest to not think about it right now. I love her with all my heart.

Her oldest sister always asked what happened. Each time it gets harder and harder to tell her that this is how God made her and she is perfect in every way.

I'm hoping to get Noelle an appointment at Shriner's hospital. I heard they are excellent.

She has started to bare weight on her legs (mainly her right leg, the one affected be FH). And when she does, her ankle kinda turns in. That could be genetic because Cayla and I do the same because of high arches, but her's is only her right ankle that turns in so that worries me.

Here are a few new pics of her.

Here are her little feet.

She is getting so big.

Noelle's story

When Cayla was 8 months old we found out we were having another little one. I was happy and scared at the same time because of how young Cayla was.At my 20 week ultrasound everything seemed fine except her stubbornness. She wouldn't flip for the tech to measure the other side of her heart. She finally did.  On dec. 11, 2011, I started having contractions. We got to the hospital at 2:45pm she was  born until 3:05. The nurses were cleaning her and while they were John was doing his finger/toe count. All of a sudden I hear from across the room "SHE ONLY HAS 3 TOES!" At first i though he was joking, because he jokes all the time. Then he brings me her footprints, I was shocked. When i saw her foot, I broke down because i thought it was my fault. Every nurse and the doctor were shocked we had no idea. We didn't see it on the ultrasound. Fast forward to when she is a month old, John and I take her to her first orthopedist appointment where we find out that she has Fibular Hemimelia. FH is when a fibula is short or not existing, her is short. Her right leg and foot is shorter than the left and she has only 3 toes on her right foot. We also found out that she will most likely need leg lengthening and she will need an ankle brace for support. At her 2 month check up, they measured her leg and there is a 1 inch difference when there was a centimeter at birth. We are just letting her be a baby right now and not worrying about it until she is at the age to walk, which is when the orthopedist wants to see her back.

Miss Noelle at 3 months old

Noelle with her sister Cayla and half-sister Aubree